I haven’t shared my unasked for opinions in a while, but here I am.
First of all, I want to say that I am in awe of all who stay home with their kids, as I am of all who work.
Second of all, it’s 2020 and dads can stay home too. Boys can wear pink. Girls can marry girls, gay couples can have babies and so on and so on. So perhaps let’s back it up with the gender bias. (This one’s for you, Mom.)
I was casually scrolling the internet when I came across an article about how staying at home with your kids is harder than working. I’d usually pass by something I didn’t agree with, but on this fine occasion I decided to simply write,
“No. Staying at home is hard. Working is hard. It’s all hard.”
And really, that’s all there is to it. To me, the title of this article was almost as cringe worthy as one titled, “breast is best.”
We wonder why kids and teenage girls are so cliquey and caddy, but really? Why do we even wonder? Look at how we as a society approach motherhood. We do it all behind this fake veil of support and non judgment. Please. Just stop with that.
Let’s be real and let’s be honest. The reality is, I’ve learned to stay far far away from the mommy cliques. I prefer to not surround myself with people who will be in a group text about me and my parenting choices after I leave the play date. I’ll be over here, staying in my own lane. Having other people, “raise my kid” while I work. (Sarcasm.)
The mommy comparisons are as stale as old moldy bread. For the love of all that is good, can we just support one another?
Never once have I thought of myself, who works outside of the home, and my friend who stays home and thought, “wow what I do is so much harder.” I’ve also never thought that what she does is either. What I do think is we’ve both made choices that support our families. I think we both have days that are incredibly hard, and days that make it all worth it.
It is not my intention to downplay how difficult being a stay at home parent is. Trust me, I was running out the door to go back to work. It is my intention to shed light on how toxic the mommy comparisons are. It’s likely if Sally breastfeeds and I formula feed, our 13 year old daughters are still going to blame us for all their problems when that fine age rolls around.
I could sit here and list all the reasons why being a working parent is hard and all the ways being a stay at home parent is hard, but why? Why do we, as a society have this constant need to feel validated that we are working ourselves into the ground? That our struggles are more profound than our neighbors? I for one am ready to join the club where we see the hardships of others without downplaying our own.