We Had No Idea
I was driving the same route through my little home town that I’ve taken so many times. I thought about how when I was younger I’d be driving to a friend’s house, a Friday night football game, dance practice, or to meet my pals at the local watering holes. Today I was driving to prenatal appointments for the baby growing in me; my second child.
I was listening to one of the same songs I’d been listening to since high school. I thought about how it used to remind me of my boyfriend, and now it reminds me of my family. I thought about driving around singing it in the car way back when, and now it’s the song I sang to my daughter as she fell asleep last night. Every night she asks me to “sing her a new song she’s never heard before.” It’s a tall order, but I always rise to the occasion. As I drive this same route singing this same song, I think to myself, “wow, we had no idea.”
We had no idea how life would change. We had no idea the challenges life would present. That some of us would get married young, and some of us would get married later or not at all. Some of us would move across the country, and some of us would be happiest close to home. Some of us would have babies young, and some of us would struggle to have babies.
I had no idea how unpredictable pregnancy could be. That I’d end up with diabetes, or high blood pressure. That I’d want to have a baby at home. That I’d want 2 or 3 kids. We had no idea how important sleep was until we had kids. My husband and I had no idea how much work marriage actually is.
We had no idea a pandemic would sicken and kill so many, close my business, keep kids home from school, and keep us inside. We had no idea how much we valued our friends and family until we couldn’t see them for months.
While we had no idea the surprises and hurdles life would give us, we also had no idea how much love the future held. We had no idea the joy seeing our friends since childhood with their new babies and families could bring. We had no idea over the years we’d have 3 dogs who would become our world, cats, and our dream home. We definitely had no idea when we were sitting in high school Spanish class that we’d be the family we are today. We had no idea that even with all the twists, turns and surprises along the way, we wouldn’t trade it for easy or predictable.
We had no idea how we would drive the same route through our little hometown, but now for a different purpose, and yet it would still be exactly where we were supposed to be.
Phoenix Matarazzo 
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