5am. I am awake, laying in bed going over choreography for my 7:30am class. I turn on my side and whip out a boob so I can nurse the 2 month old while doing this. I quietly get ready without waking anyone, go to work, teach, and arrive home all before 10am.
Upon my arrival at home, I am swearing at my husband in my head. Why are these dishes in the sink? The dirty laundry awaits me. Oh, and the 3 baskets that need to be folded and put away upstairs. Baby is hungry. Older child is hungry.
The dogs want attention. The mail person is here and now said dogs will try and bark him to death for the 5000th day in a row. There is so much dog hair on the floor, on the couch, in the bed… everywhere. I need to vacuum, and sweep, and mop. Bed sheets need to be changed.
Children’s toys all over my house. All over. When will I get this all done?
Then I go through my list of to do’s for work. Update website. Schedule social media posts. Pay bills. Design and send email newsletter. Think about class plans. Edit videos. Upload videos. Marketing. Marketing. Marketing. I chuckle thinking about all the times people have said to me, “that’s awesome, you just do yoga all week long!” Ha. Ha. Haaaaaa.
The truth is, I spend a lot of time dreaming about “one day” for someone who makes a living helping people “be present.”
I think to myself…
One day the sink will be empty.
One day, there won’t be so much laundry.
One day, there won’t be dog hair everywhere. At least not the hair of these dogs.
One day, the children’s toys won’t be everywhere.
One day, I’ll be retired and won’t be sending emails and marketing, marketing, marketing all the time.
One day, my husband and I will be able to travel whenever we want.
One day, we will have unlimited time to make plans to do whatever we want.
One day, the baby won’t be a baby, and he won’t need to be held so much.
One day, my daughter will be able to drive herself to gymnastics, and dance, and anywhere else she wants to go.
One day, all of our little home improvement projects will be done.
One day, the house will be clean, quiet, and empty of baby things and kid’s toys. One day I will have more gray hair, and my husband will have no hair (sorry.) One day life will be slower.
When that day comes, I know I will look back on the days I fantasized about, “one day” and miss them so dearly. I will miss the babies being little. I will miss my sweet, shedding, loud dogs. I will miss my dream job, and my life’s work.
I will love watching my children grow and make their mark on this world, but at the same time, I will miss the days I could only fantasize about these moments in time…