a year or so ago I started this blog
I began it as a way to chronicle my thoughts as I navigated a new sober life, and to reflect on my past experiences as a mom, romantic partner, friend, teacher, and business owner. Mostly, just to write about being human.
I used to write frequently. I would get inspired by a thought process and just let it all pour out. This was incredibly healing at a time when I really needed it. The kind of healing I could never get from yoga, meditation, or therapy. One I certainly never got from drinking.
If you had asked me a decade ago where I saw myself in 10 years, not drinking alcohol, and writing about it on the internet would not have been it. But my predictions of my future have never been accurate, and the reality has always been better than my imagination when all is said and done.
Lately I have rarely felt called to write. I’m okay with that. I no longer try to force anything that doesn’t feel authentic.
So as I sat here feeling like I should write an epic two year sober celebratory blog post, I realized that not constantly having stuff to write about is the best gift I’ve given myself.
When I stopped drinking, I quickly realized how much lighter my mental load became. Most of my problems were either created or heightened by drinking. Of course I still have a rolodex of unique emotions just like we all do, but I can’t even begin to describe how much easier it is to exist in the highs, the lows, and everywhere in between when I’m doing it 100% present and coherent.
2 years ago today I had my last drink and I never looked back.
At the risk of sounding dramatic (who, me?) I wouldn’t have anything I have today if I was still drinking. Or at least I wouldn’t have it with peace. I wouldn’t have Silas. I wouldn’t have my business. I wouldn’t have confidence or balance in my life and relationships.
This post is over now so if you’ve read this far, I’m always happy to chat. I am an over sharer of my own baggage, but I can keep yours confidential.